17 December 2016
Today ends my 9-day novena to Mary the Undoer of Knots. I celebrated the day with mass at the nearby Church and spent some moments with Jesus at the Adoration Chapel.
As we reach the fourth week of Advent, almost capping another season of waiting, I was struck by what the kind old priest said in the homily; it hasn't been easy making a discernment and more so, a commitment to turn my back on the wrongs in my life. Nonetheless, I have been able to make some courageous choices this year that I do not regret: coming back to the work where my time, talent, and treasures seek to serve God and grow in my faith, rather than being lured by a high-paying alternative; leaving some uncharitable friendships despite the prestige and all the free passes they offered; and finally saying goodbye to a relationship that has not only denied me of who I am and the kind of love, respect and recognition that I deserved. The worst part was it drew me away from God through sin, materialism, and belief in other gods through New Age, among many other alternative religions that he had been leading me to. By God's light, Vic's hidden life of darkness, repression, deception, and perversion had been revealed. While it shattered me to come into terms with the truth about his character, I realized that it is only through God that his strong psychopathic and diabolical tendencies will be healed, if he would ever choose to live in the light instead of deceit. It is beyond my power.
A beautiful picture came upon me as I prayed the first of the Joyful Mysteries in front of the Eucharist: I was on a path in a desert that reached a bright place where God awaits. At that specific point on the path, Jesus stood. He held out His hand for me. And I took it, at peace with the fruit of my discernment which is to let Jesus be my faithful companion in this journey towards God and His promised land. After all, He has never left me, never let me down, and just loved me faithfully and unconditionally.
As I begin to let Jesus be my way, my truth, and my life in this next chapter of my life, I would like to thank Mary, Our Mother. It would not have been possible to find Jesus and be wooed by this most ardent and faithful lover if it weren't for her.
And I thank God for sending me my own earthly mother, Belen, who planted the seed of love of Mama Mary in me by teaching us to pray the rosary at a young age and for my dad, Rolando, who modeled the very characteristics of St. Joseph, the father of Jesus.
It has been a spiritually meaningful Advent this year.
I am now ready for Christmas.
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